The narrator of the story “Standard Loneliness Package” works at a call center in Bangalore, experiencing other people’s pain for twelve dollars an hour. (Official company motto: “Don’t feel like having a bad day? Let us have it for you.”) “Pain is an illusion, I know, and so is time, I know, I know, I …
3 Tips for Managing Compassion Fatigue and Empathic Distress Read More »
“Helping others with significant concerns in their lives can be highly effective, satisfying, and meaningful. It can be great work. To do this well […] we must continually invest positively in others, and this means constant renewal of the self and an ongoing focus on the intricate balance between caring for others versus caring for …
5 Tips for Recovering from Burnout and Reconnecting with Your Calling Read More »
I’m sure you’ve already heard many times that you should “put on your own oxygen mask first” or that “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” I don’t think any of us disagree, but there are times when that advice isn’t enough. What if you feel like the well’s run dry, or like there’s no …
How Can I Help Others When I’m Struggling Myself? Read More »
Invalidation basically means expressing a lack of empathy toward someone’s feelings and experience of the world. Validation, then, conveys the message: I see you, I hear you, and I understand where you’re coming from and what you’re going through. Validation or invalidation aren’t always articulated verbally, but could be shown through a supportive or skeptical …
How to Validate Teens (Even When You Don’t Agree) Read More »
Do you tend to make a mountain out of a molehill? Or do you tend to have one of these reactions? 1: You must not make a mountain out of a molehill. That’s the rule. 2: Let me help you see that the mountain is really a molehill. While we’re at it, what else do …
The Enneagram: A Powerful Tool for Personal and Professional Growth Read More »
When one of my friends asked his therapist if she’d ever experienced the challenge he was facing, she said: “You want me to self-reveal?!” My friend told me: “It felt really creepy. I just wanted to know if she understood what I was going through, and she acted like I wanted her to take all …
What Can I Do If a Youth Asks Me for Personal Information? Read More »
For anyone who works in education or the helping professions, I’d like to share with you three books that I’ve found particularly helpful in dealing with stress, burnout, and vicarious trauma, and in moving toward a life that’s both more satisfying and more effective in serving others. The Compassion Fatigue Workbook: Creative Tools for Transforming …
3 Must-Read Books About Self-Care and Personal Growth Read More »
In his book on Clergy Burnout, Rev. Fred Lehr sums up the unspoken mantra of the helping professions: “Be the selfless martyr. Bear everyone else’s pains. Make everything right.” Of course you could always do more. But can you? Self-care isn’t about being selfish or self-indulgent. Nor is it just one more item to add …
How Can I Focus on Self-Care When There’s Endless Need? Read More »
Most of my clients use drugs because they’re self-medicating symptoms of anxiety, depression, trauma, or other emotional or environmental challenges. They don’t understand the negative consequences, or they’ve decided the benefits outweigh the risks. If we’re going to ask teens to stop using drugs, we need to understand the perceived benefits as well as the …
“My ability to care for people has suffered. […] Many of us feel like we’re becoming worse at our jobs.” nurse dealing with hospital staffing shortages during COVID-19 (source: NPR.org) I doubt there’s a single person working in the helping professions who hasn’t heard that it’s important to practice self-care. Yes, self-care is important. But …
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